


Slipping through my fingers

by Ostodvandi



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Christmas, Discussions of Grief/Mourning, Drabble, Gen, Light Angst, Mentioned Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius, Radiant Dawn Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ostodvandi/pseuds/Ostodvandi
Summary: Sephiran needs a break during the Christmas celebrations. As he rests, he meets a young man from another world that has a few words to say.
Relationships: Orudina | Altina/Sephiran, Sanaki Kirsch Altina & Sephiran
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Slipping through my fingers

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the whole fic are inspired by Slipping through my fingers from Mamma Mia because that song makes me think about Sephiran and Sanaki for whatever reason. It's the vibes, I guess. Also, Christmas Sephiran makes me think of Rodrigue, even if they aren't that similar, tbh. I went through Tellius more than a year ago, I think, so my memory of the character voices from there might not be very good.
> 
> Happy Christmas! Stay safe!

'I'm afraid I'll need a break, lady Sanaki, lady Altina.'

The young apostle turns around, cheeks puffed up and brows furrowed. She looks so cute like this, in her fluffy, wintery attire. Altina, standing by her side, looks gorgeous even with worry on her face. 'Are you well, lord Sephiran?'

'Yes, I'm simply a little tired,' he assures. 'I need to sit down for a moment. I'll join you soon, please, don't let my absence ruin the festival.'

Sanaki stares at him, crossing her arms. Sephiran won't fault her for being upset - she did order him to stay by their side the whole duration of the event, and here he is, putting his feet down and denying her anyway. Thankfully, Altina comes to his aid, sensing something wrong. 'Sanaki, I do think lord Sephiran needs a small break. We'll be back in a few minutes,' she says, and Sephiran's heart burns inside his chest. 'And, this way, we can get him a secret present as well.'

'Oh!' Sanaki's face lights up, her mouth hanging open for a second before she remembers her manners and closes it. 'That is a wonderful idea, lady Altina! We shall be on our way, then. But you-' She's looking at Sephiran again, her hands now on her hips, and he can't help a smile when she continues, '-must stay here! I will not allow you to run away again, Sephiran!'

'I promise.' If asked, there would be nothing he'd rather do than spend time with Sanaki and Altina. Zelgius' company would be a wonderful addition, as well. But, in practice, it's a bit too much with too short notice. He'd need years to be prepared for something like this.

Seeing Altina again, as beautiful and graceful as she ever was. Noticing now similar she and Sanaki are, from their smiles to their hair. Sitting on a nearby bench, Sephiran lets out a long sigh, slowly unlacing the knot in his throat. He shouldn't cry during such a happy festivity, not when his happiness is so close. Then again, these aren't born out of just melancholy.

Someone sits by his side on the bench, dropping a bag of presents and a bow on the ground. The young man's manners are not that good: He leans completely on the back of the bench, relesing a curse through gritted teeth towards someone named Hilda. Sephiran has seen this young man before, but he had been too busy avoiding lady Altina and lady Sanaki to notice.

'Are you well?' he asks, noticing the way the boy rubs his back.

'Mmh?' It seems the young man has just noticed him, by the way his eyebrows rise. He recovers from the surprise soon enough. 'Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks.'

'If you say so.' Sephiran lets it be, watching the snowflakes fall around them. Some other people are also dressed in red, green, and white, offering presents to any empty-handed person they find. Altina and Sanaki must still be out there, maybe looking for something to gift him, not knowing their presence is the biggest gift he could have. And, at the same time, the gift that had brought him the most distress.

The young man's eyes are fixated on Sephiran, for some reason, but he avoids eye contact whenever Sephiran tries to establish it. What a strange boy.

'Is something wrong?'

A few seconds pass in silence until the boy says, 'You remind me of someone.'

Sephiran blinks, feeling a rush of panic all over his body. But, no, this boy isn't from his world, is he? They couldn't have possibly met before. Sephiran smiles, polite but apologetic. 'I'm very sorry, but I don't recall us meeting before the festival.'

The young man shakes his head. 'I didn't mean it that way,' he grumbles, still refusing to maintain even a smidge of a second of eye contact with him. 'You remind me of someone I know. You have the same-' The boy gestures, looking for the proper word, and frustrated with himself when he can't find it. '- _ air _ .'

That sounds more in line with what Sephiran would expect. He relaxes, dropping his shoulders. 'Is that so? Who is that person, if you don't mind sharing?'

'An old man,' the boy says, linking his hands on his lap and fidgeting with his fingers, 'that is always grieving, and can't let go.'

Sephiran doesn't know how to reply to such a thing. The boy isn't wrong, but... 'You're very perceptive,' he manages, never losing that polite smile that is so practiced. 'What is your name?'

'Felix,' he replies, resting his chin on his palm.

Felix. He'll keep that name in mind. 'I'm Sephiran.' The boy - Felix - acknowledges his reply with a hum. His mind must be as deep in thought as Sephiran's, by the way he too stares at the snow and the festival lights.

'That old man can't let go of what he has lost,' Felix says, his free hand wrapped into a tight fist. 'So much that he can't fucking see what's in front of his nose.'

Sephiran's mouth talks before he can even think about his words. 'Letting go is not so easy.'

'I know!' Felix groans, finally looking at Sephiran properly. The boy's eyes are watery despite his angry demeanor. 'You talk  _ just  _ like him. It's insufferable.'

He can relate, to a certain extent, even if he doesn't know the source of this boy's mourning. Grief is a exhausting thing. But it's mostly amusing to watch someone so young get so riled up. 'I'd love to meet this old man someday, since you say we're so similar.'

That makes some of the boy's anger crumble, and he looks away again. 'I suppose he'll show up here. At some point.'

Sephiran nods, and silence is established between them again. He hears Felix breathing in, ready to say something, but giving up on it. Sephiran doesn't pressure him, waiting for Altina and Sanaki to come back, and his heart jumps when he sees them walking out of a particular stall. Sanaki carries a package in her arms, holding it like it's the most precious thing.

'Sephiran!' she calls, rushing to the bench, as Altina waves at him. 'Have you rested?'

'I have, thank you,' he answers, getting up from the bench. He gives Felix a last look, but the boy is already up, the sack full of presents over his shoulder, picking up the bow. 'It's been a pleasure.'

'Hm,' Felix hums without turning, observing something in his bow. 'Likewise, I guess.'

Sanaki scrunches her nose, watching the boy go and disappear amongst brightly lit stalls. 'How rude!'

'Don't mind it, lady Sanaki,' Sephiran says, rubbing her back. 'I see you found something.'

'Indeed!' She puffs up like a little bird. 'But you are not allowed to open it just yet.'

Sephiran chuckles. 'As lady Sanaki orders. But it will be difficult to offer others presents like this.' Sanaki blinks, considering his words. Sephiran continues, 'I can carry it for you. I swear I won't even think of opening it.'

And so it is. Sanaki hands him the gift, with one last warning about absolutely not opening it before she wants him to. Sephiran sees Altina snicker from the corner of his eye, and his mind goes back to the boy's watery eyes. He could cry now, too.

Even so, he can't ruin the festival for Sanaki, so he swallows it all. At some point she rushes towards a group of kids, carrying a bunch of small presents with her, and Sephiran's eyes follow her attentively.

'Lehran.'

His eyes widen, his mouth goes dry, and his head whips to one side, where Altina stands. His stomach feels heavy, and anxiety creeps up his lungs.

Altina looks surprised. 'Lord Sephiran?'

Did he imagine that?

'I wanted to ask if you are alright. You...'

‘I’m fine,’ he lies. He’s been doing that for most of the day, lying to Altina’s face. The love of his life. ‘Please, do not concern yourself with me. I’m unused to these festivals, that is all.’

She nods, even if she’s visibly unconvinced. 

And it’s better like this. There would be too many things to explain, too much pain to unearth, if he were to be sincere. Like this, Sanaki can enjoy the festival with her ancestor and deliver presents and joy.

Like this, Sephiran doesn’t have to confront anything.


End file.
